As Valentine’s Day approaches, regardless of your feelings about it, it serves as a GREAT reminder to be grateful for those you love.
We are always so busy with all the responsibilities in our lives, but it is so important that we slow down enough to make time for those we love. In the end, we will not remember all the hours worked, we will remember the memories of being with our husbands, wives or partners. No one ever said they wish they worked more and spent less time with their family.
Quite the opposite.
My intention for writing this is to serve as a reminder for you all, myself included, that despite our goals in life, part of our self care routine needs to include spending time with and nurturing the relationships in our lives. They do not just thrive automatically, they take work, attention and love.
Your children will grow up and leave the house.
You will retire from your job.
Many aspects of your life ebb and flow, but don’t make your relationship one of them.
Take a moment to ask yourself are you really nurturing your relationship(s) or do you take them for granted and assume they will always be there? This is not meant to be make you feel guilty if you do, but simply to help you notice. From there, begin to paint a picture of what you would like your relationship to look like. What would you say? How would you act? What makes you feel loved? Do you know what makes your partner feel loved? Not sure, keep reading.
I discovered, actually my husband first discovered The Five Love Languages book written by Gary Chapman, author and marriage counselor. The basic premise is every person has a specific love language. You most likely are a mix of all of them, but typically one may stand out more for you. Take the quiz to discover yours*.
Once you begin to understand what love language you speak and your partner speaks, you can begin to better understand how to communicate with one another. For example, one of my love languages is acts of service. I love when my husband pitches in to help me clean our house. It makes me feel loved and appreciated. So, for a long time I assumed that my cleaning our house showed him I loved him. However, one of his love languages is words of affirmation, meaning he would rather I said nice things to him. You can see how when you don’t speak the same language, your love tank, as referred to in the book, may not be filled. However, when you know each other’s love language, you know how to fill the others cup and ensure you are both getting what you need.
So, just as the saying goes you cannot pour from an empty vessel, it is important to first begin by ensuring you are showing up every day for yourself and scheduling in the activities you need to fill your cup first. From there, you can begin to start thinking about the needs of your partner and what that requires of you.
Would love to hear any thoughts that came up for you from reading this.
Much love and gratitude,
*I am not receiving any payments by sharing this link. In my personal opinion it is a valuable resource.